Hey there, we need to talk. No, you’re not in trouble, but we do need to chat about something a little sticky. I want to talk to you about expectations, and why letting them go is totally in your best interest, especially when it comes to working with other people. When we get tied up in what we think should happen, how we think someone should perform, or how a situation should go, it really impacts our ability to serve the other person. It also impacts the ability of the other person to show up in their best way possible.
When we put our expectations on others, on our art, on our projects, and on everything else, it really hinders the amazingness that could happen. This isn't to say that you should lower your standards. Standards are important. Expectations, however, hold us in these small little boxes that keep us from doing amazing things. So to recap: standards are important, but expectations can keep us from reaching our goals. Let’s learn more…
So here are five reasons why letting go of your expectations is just the cool thing to do.
It’s not about you
First of all, it's not about you.
It was never about you
Second, it was never about you. In legacy, in storytelling, and in the care and industry of caring for others, it is about the other person. It is about their human experience. It's about what is happening for them in their lives. Because every time you go to work, if you're caring in a care facility, you're in their home. That facility is where they live. They can't leave. They can't go home. That care facility is where they will be until they're able to leave or until they die. I know that’s morbid, however, it's the truth, and here at Legacy, we face truths.
Remember that when you are thinking about bringing in storytelling, to keep the focus on the people you are programming for. When you are bringing in something extra, something new, it's really important to remember that it's not about you, it's about your storyteller, it's about the other person.
Letting go to move forward
Third, letting go helps you move forward. So if you start a conversation with someone, and it doesn't quite go the way you wanted it to, let it go. Maybe it doesn’t go the way you thought it should, or the way you thought it would, let go of that expectation. Being able to let go of that expectation and let go of what you thought would happen, is how we extend grace. When we embrace and love what is happening, and focus on being present in that moment, we can move forward. To be able to experience and accept the journey and work with it, that is going to be massive for both you and your storyteller.
What you will create is more important than what you expect to create
Fourth, when you're able to let go of your expectations, what you will create is more important and probably more beautiful, than what you expected to create. When we look at the process of creating, we normally focus on the end product. If you're trying to make an end product with storytelling and with Legacy, it is really about what the storyteller is able to do and what they want.
It's not about the pretty picture you had in your head. This goes for family members, for facilities, and for anywhere you are, with any project. Documenting the destination and allowing the end product to just be an honest representation of the storyteller, without the burden of expectation, is so special.
Expectations will keep you trapped
The last one, in fifth position, is expectations will keep you trapped. Expectations will keep you small and expectations will keep you sad. When we're able to let go of these expectations we have on ourselves, on our storytellers, and on the people around us, it really changes the landscape. When we let go of our expectations it really changes the game and our ability to interact with others.
So my challenge to you, should you accept it, is to identify where you have expectations. For extra credit, identify where you might be able to let go of some expectations here or there, and then follow up with us. I would love to hear how this goes for you. You can leave it in the comments, or send us an email.
Abbreviated audio version of the above…
Looking for that thing to help you keep your storytellers engaged and talking? For the writer's in your care, this journal will keep them talking for a good long while. Encourage them (if they can) to reach out via phone or video to family members and share the memories they write about.
This journal was designed for storytellers in their sunset years who are ready to write about and share their memories. Simple to use and elegant enough to keep around to remind you of them long after they are gone.